Anonymous asked:

Do you think being successful comes from hard work and being consistent or more luck/meeting the right people? My family always say the latter and it demotivates me. I think it can help but mostly your hard work pays off.

transmansable answered:

It can help and yeah many successful people have someone to thank along the line. The point is to meet those people. There is no line keeping you from meeting people. Surround yourself with the fortunate and positive minded people. If you hear someone mention their father or mother owns this or that, and it’s something that pertains to your path, then ask them questions about it. Sounds crazy right? Asking someone questions that you don’t even know, but that one little conversation can be the line between big success and no success at all. Every time a positive person walks out from your life, you set yourself back. Your family is wrong, and you know it. That is also the mind state you will need to gain success. Everyone says it’s impossible, you’re not smart enough, you don’t know anyone, you don’t have enough money, etc… These are people who just can’t do it themselves. Is there truth to the statement? Absolutely. But does that have to be a factor in how successful you will be? NOPE. You have to make these connections, expand your circle, join a club, make more friends, and never down talk people above you. Encourage them, but don’t kiss ass. Success is all about what I call bouncy conversation. Who cares what someone’s intention is in something they ask or say, who cares if it’s for attention or compassion, if you sit there and pick apart the reason behind people’s words, you disrupt the flow of bouncy conversation. John says his car cost him 35k and he paid for it out of pocket. Now that is amazing, anyone knows that. You could be the skeptic giving dirty looks and pointing out John’s flaws in attempts to make him look bad, but John still has a brand new Corvette, so who gives a shit. Don’t let your judgments get in the way of your success. Tell John that is an awesome car and ask where he got it and what the guy’s reaction was when he could afford it so easily. That is bouncy conversation. Is John being a Narcissistic cocky little bitch, YES. But that’s not what should be coming out of your mouth, just bounce off with your response. Be a good conversationalist, pick up cues but keep your face stiff. My face is a smirk, eyes focused and I’ll look at other people as someone will describe something to me that is supposed to be “epic.” Make a face and keep it. Make friends with the poor kids, the rich kids, the middle class kids. No prejudice, expand your circle, be a good listener, but focus your attention in people who are going somewhere. Your parents say only people who know people are going somewhere. Who says you can’t know those people as well? Who says you can’t work your way up? Whoever does, just can’t do it themselves so they want to tell you that you can’t do it either. There is always a shortcut to EVERYTHING. There is always a way.

There was a guy in my school, complete jock, and we didn’t have that in our school. He was there for the mental health aspect. He was this crazy tall and buff white kid, only in our school for 1 year. He looked 25. His dad was a dentist, and his mom was a surgeon. He had a lot of money, and he was somewhat good looking, and talented. He was a football player, one of the best in his school. One day in class, our teacher asked what our plans were after school. I answered a Psychiatrist of course, and everyone else answered something similar or different (this class was for people with anger management problems, surprisingly most wanted to be in the mental health field). Now this guy Rob, the jock, was lacking in almost every class I had with him. Obnoxious, rude, never did homework, barely passed. He was a year older than me, but took classes from my grade. He struggled so much with….everything pretty much. I helped him a few times, I used to walk around the room and help after I was done. So the teacher asked around and made her way to him. The teacher asked what he will be doing, so he said “I’ll get a scholarship to play football for the NFL, or I’ll probably just be a dentist or engineer, something like that” and everyone laughed a little and chuckled thinking this was just another one of his jokes or laughed to mock him thinking he was incapable. He noticed, and you could tell he was a little embarrassed. I just felt proud that he had big dreams, because most people don’t have that much confidence and I didn’t want these ass hole kids to ruin it for him. After class, I caught up to him and I told him that his goals were awesome and I hope he makes it in one of those fields, and he smiled and turned red and said “thanks, I’ll try” and walked on. From then on he began telling me about his dreams to be an engineer, specifically a mechanical engineer, and how he was looking into school programs. I started to bring him in lists of schools and I gave him my number on the last day but he never called me. It wasn’t until I moved back here a year ago that I bumped into him when picking up Graceann. He ended up getting a scholarship to play football in college, but switched out and went into criminal justice, and works as a private investigator. I couldn’t believe it, that he went from being so obnoxious in class to finding something he really loved. He was there with a 1 year old when I saw him and seemed pretty happy and told me he lost my number on the bus on the last day of school and called back to get it but they didn’t recover it. He gave me his new number, and he’s done a few favors for me in his power that has definitely increased my social circle, as in who i involve myself with professionally. Imagine if I laughed at him, too? I wouldn’t have that advantage. And I’m telling you it is a significant change to have him when I need him and I help him the same way. I wouldn’t have this friend if I didn’t reach out to him. Most people who dream big and stick to it, work hard and find their focus do end up successful, and no matter who they are, if you are a good conversationalist, everyone’s friend and always have something to say, you will be surprised at how far it can get you.

Ahhh, Graceann’s friend. There is this guy Justin. He moved to her school from Brooklyn when her and I started dating. He would flirt with her and tell her sexual jokes a lot despite how much she would tell him to stop. Come to find out, he had aspergers and never told anyone out of embarrassment. He also used to stutter constantly and was picked on for it. She was one of his only friends, but only at lunch since they had no classes together. One day I messaged him on myspace and told him to back off of her and that she doesn’t appreciate his invasive behavior. He apologized and we ended up messaging for a few hours. He talked about cooking and how he loved to. So I encouraged it and asked him questions (important) about his interests even more so he would keep talking. At school the next day he told her that he liked me and that when he’s a famous chef, he’ll remember us and invite us to his restaurant. He was a corny kid, a little weird, but Graceann always talked to him when no one else did. Over the years, he started to take care of himself and joined a fraternity. He made lots of friends and attended lots of events, lots of girlfriends come and gone, and we’d update here and there. He seemed to be so different, more socially composed and focused. He was learning culinary and started to work at restaurants, and made his way into working at an applebees, my favorite. So he made a joke and told us to come to applebees, so we thought it’d be funny to actually go. So she told him we were there and he brought out our food and we talked for a bit. No matter his ticks or stuttering, i kept a straight face and listened to what he said, no what he meant or what he was trying to do (which was bring attention to us to embarrass us). He continued through school and now he works for Cake Boss. The tv show, the famous guy with the awesome cakes. He works for him and helps promote him when he’s not in the kitchen. He keeping being promoted and moved up and is making a very hefty salary. You would have never thought this awkward kid with a disability who people laughed at, would be as handsome, refined and as successful as he is. he doesn’t even have time to meet up but said once he moves out to LA and becomes the top chef at a fine dining restaurant (his goal once his internship is up), he says he’ll invite us. Having him around has benefits like that. Having a successful person to look up to and help you to be successful as well. No hate, no worries about how he functions, just what he does and what he says. I wouldnt have had the privilege of meeting him if he wasn’t always yelling sexual comments at Graceann’s butt lmao it was fate. hes a good friend, and if i ever need a favor in the food industry, ill turn to him.

MEET PEOPLE, encourage them, encourage yourself. surround yourself with people who want more out of life, who want success and are willing to work for it. even if theyre not always the nicest or more inviting person, its possible to ask to interview them. My cousin’s husband works on wall street as a lawyer, and I spent some time when I was in the city talking with him and his friends. WOW. Fast talkers, shit talkers, ass kissers, liars, overly positive and overreactions to everything. It was amazing, but I joined and kept my personal opinions and insight out of it. They liked me and I was invited to go out again with them, so I did. I overheard a woman say her friend is a millionaire and works in real estate. I have always been interested in real estate. Every piece of it: Sales, development, law, etc.. So I went out of my way to ask if there was any way possible for me to contact her to interview her on her success. I didn’t think I’d get a call, but one day I did. She was actually happy to be interviewed and felt flattered. I interviewed her for about an hour, but every time she showed her personality, I’d ask her to say more. For example: Me: When you realized the prosperity that existed in real estate, how did you make the decision that you were interested enough to cancel out all other paths and occupations? Do you believe you should be passionate about what you do? Her: Ever since I was very young, I’ve always had an interest in sales…..blah blah blah…..:: Now you see where she says when she was young, that’s important to making a friendship. Smile when she says it and say “wow” because it is amazing when you think of it that she always knew her fate. After she finishes, take note of everything she said, but talk about how she was as a child, never about yourself. you’d say “You had traits as a child that you possess today that I believe has made you successful, not only as an agent but as a person.” This will flatter the person of how insightful you are. This is key with a person who is kind and proud, they probably really like compliments. From doing this, I’ve established a friendship with this woman, and now if I do decide to go into real estate (which i intend to while in college), I have a HUGE idol to look up to. A truly inspiring person.

Sounds like a bunch of bullshit, but that’s what it is. If you want to be successful you have to be good with conversation, open your circle up, have a good focus face in conversation that doesn’t change based on your thoughts, encourage others to talk about themselves, and be persistent in getting to know more about others who seem to be moving up in life. Make connections. These invisible people your parents talk about are real, but you have to be able to find them. I went out of my way to “interview” a security guard at the mall because I intended on fighting someone there and needed someone on the inside. This is not mature or recommended, but that’s just an example of sneaky things you can do to get on the inside of the shortcut before you make your way through. You can even ask to interview teachers or whoever. You can “accidentally” friend a certain person on facebook and talk to them and then meet. Do anything to make those connections. Just working through school on your own, you wont come out on top but end up settling where youve earned yourself. Get out there and know people, broaden your view and see that the height you want is achievable and its all about what you do now that gets you there tomorrow.

You sound smart, and you sound like you don’t buy into your parents’ bullshit. Good, I don’t either. Make some moves, and you will see improvement. Find people with positions you can take advantage of but make the connection with genuine friendship and interest.